


Broken

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Drama, M/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-10
Updated: 2008-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-02 06:08:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13312104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: He can't take it anymore.





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

  
Author's notes: Just another shortcut that came to mind while listening to the song "Same Mistake" by James Blunt. Couldn't do anything but writing it down.  
  
Thanks to my best friend Mara for betaing.  


* * *

Broken

I should have known. I should have known the moment he told me the risks I was going to get myself in when I agreed. And I should have listened to my heart when it screamed at me that I wasn’t going to be happy and that sooner or later I would come out of it broken one more time.

But I didn’t listen. I ignored it, knowing one more time wouldn’t matter. One more time would just be one in thousands of times. I told myself one more time wasn’t going to hurt me. That I was already broken and that I couldn’t break anymore.

Indeed, the following weeks, months, years were the best I ever had. They were so great that I had already been convinced that it would last forever. That his fears for my well-being were ungrounded and that my heart was wrong. That I had finally found my destination and would become happy.

But I was wrong. Because in the end everything came down to what both he and my heart had been afraid of. That this wouldn’t turn out as happy as I believed. That I would be broken in the end when he couldn’t heal all the issues I had been bothered with since my early childhood.

And I had been left once again, shattered. ‘Cause he wasn’t the right person to solve my problems since he was broken all the same. I realized that broken and broken doesn’t sum up to make everything okay, not at all. It just made things worse and hurt the persons concerned even more, leaving them with even more to deal with.

So when he finally decided to leave me to my own sorrows I couldn’t take it anymore. Telling me that he wasn’t able to help as long as he had his own issues to get over with and that he’d probably never be that far to forget about what had happened to his first wife and his daughter… did it to me.

I had been on the verge of doing something stupid ever since my father disinherited me when I was twelve. He had in no way considered me as a son of his and thrown me out the day I turned thirteen and was just a little kid. It felt all the same for me to hear the man I so desperately loved explaining to me why he wasn’t able to do that relationship anymore. It was a stab right into my heart.

I waited until I got home and while I cried all the heartache out of my wracked body I rummaged through the drawers in my kitchen. I found what I was looking for and didn’t hesitate a second before making the first move that would free me from the pain. My arteries were slit in no time and I felt life leaving me slowly.

I hadn’t even cared to write a letter to say goodbye since the only person that would have cared at all had abandoned me only half an hour ago. So it didn’t even matter that the last words I said before darkness overwhelmed me was one last time of declaring my love to him, tears in my eyes.

“I love you, Jethro…”

 

Finite.

Reviews would be nice.


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